Holla atcha girrrrrllllllll!!!! What is up on this fine rainy Wednesday?! How we all livin’? So grood? Grood.
If you didn’t get that last part, then here’s your lesson of the day (click on the pic):
I should probably mention that you have to like stupid random nonsensical things to like that. Orrrrr you have to have been in college circa 2004. And I was. As a freshman. OKAY FINE A SENIOR WHAT ARE YOU THE TIME POLICE??
Exciting times – Baby Boo Boo at 5 months old is now able to hold his head steady and his legs can reach the floor in his Jumperoo. I’d just like to say that I wish I got half as excited about ANYTHING as my son gets when he’s in that Jumperoo. I mean, what’s not to love? It plays songs, he can bounce like a lunatic, it flashes lights, it’s got sh*t he can chew on, it’s like a baby gold mine. Plus it’s like a big old shield that keeps the cat away from him so I feel comfortable not being within arms length when they’re in the same room together. The big tragedy is that I can’t keep him in there for longer than an hour total per day (something about messing up his hips, I dunno). Here’s a little taste of one of the first times he went ape sh*t in his Jumperoo **side note, sorry I’m the worst videographer ever. If you get motion sickness easily, you might want to skip over this vid…side side note, check out Tim’s guns. Not Tim Gunn, he’s not in this video. I mean my husband’s muscles.**
To watch him hold his head up and be in this standing position is so bittersweet. It makes me think of how quickly everything happens (I was seriously just holding him for the first time like YESTERDAY) and it also makes me so excited for what’s to come – walking and talking, taking him to the zoo and aquarium, hearing him tell us he loves us (for a little while anyway), teaching him about Santa Claus and seeing his eyes light up when he sees our Christmas tree, all those beautiful moments that make you understand what a gift parenthood is…and all those sleepless nights and stretch marks and grey hairs – the joy that children bring to your life makes it all worth it.
Last night the baby graciously decided to fall asleep at 8 pm, which afforded us the rare opportunity to hit our cable’s On Demand menu hard. (I know, we’re WILD). We watched Friends with Kids which was surprisingly enjoyable and entertaining. It was pretty much the cast of Bridesmaids (Kristen Wiig, John Hamm, Maya Rudolph, Chris O’Dowd) with some extra fun and pretty actors (Jennifer Westfeldt, Adam Scott) and the requisite vapid but gorgeous actress (Megan Fox). It provided some pretty good laughs for both of us, particularly from John Hamm who does douchebag so well it’s scary. If you’re looking for mindless fun and this movie happens to be in your On Demand menu, I recommend. Two thumbs up.
The movie got me thinking about how your friendships change when a baby comes into the pictures. Now, I know being a parent isn’t for everyone, and I don’t judge. I used to think I wasn’t cut out to be a mommy. I thought I was too selfish and enjoyed my freedom too much to have a baby. I didn’t know if I wanted to be “tied down” or succumb to these social norms of getting married, having a baby, white picket fence, blah blah blah. But things changed…my mind changed, and after some serious soul searching and discussion with my husband, we knew this was what we wanted and never turned back.
If you’re someone who doesn’t want a baby, you might be really hard on yourself because you think you “should” want to get married or have a baby…maybe your family and friends are pressuring you or can’t accept that you just don’t have baby fever…maybe you feel like it’s selfish to want to keep your life the way it is. What’s really selfish is those who recognize they shouldn’t have a baby but they have one anyway. Perhaps because something is missing in their lives and they think a baby will fill that void. Perhaps because they think a baby will fix their marital problems. Or perhaps because they’ve allowed outside pressures to make them think it’s what they want.
The point is, we should never judge someone’s decision to have a child or not have a child. You would think that because so many people in this world do have children (just stating a fact), I wouldn’t have faced snide remarks and judgement when I got pregnant and had a baby. But I TOTALLY DID AND I KNOW I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE. Mostly from my younger/single/non-parent friends. I’ve heard jeers like, “Well I guess we’ll never see you and Tim again” or “So your life is pretty much over, right?”. When I announced my pregnancy to one particular friend, they had the audacity to flippantly remark, “Well that’s great but it doesn’t really impact my life”. And then there is the select group who chooses not to acknowledge I even had a baby – never ask me about him, never offer to come visit, just pretend it never happened and shut me out. I think that hurts most of all.
I’m not asking the world to stop and worship at my feet because I gave birth to a child; I’m simply asking that those who choose to not have children NOT judge my choices…just as I refrain from judging theirs. And maybe ask how the baby’s doing every once in a while. But I realize for some that’s too much to ask for, and that’s the end of those friendships. It’s sad, and it hurts, but that’s life. We shift and change and grow. And those who love us, who TRULY love us and shift with us…well, those are the relationships to treasure, nurture, cherish…and never let go.
And to those of you who judge or ignore your friends with babies now, be careful. Because someday you might change your mind. You might decide to have a child someday. And you will NEED your friends who have been there, done that. Being a new parent is like entering a dark and scary cave, and your experienced friends/family with kids will be your flashlight, helping you find your way. You start alienating those friends, and all you’ll end up with are a bunch of single friends telling you YOUR life is pretty much over.
BOOM. You just got schooled.